Jesus, Processing, Passions, and Blank Pages

 

I was sitting in the office at school trying to work on the VBS I'm directing in a couple of weeks when I just started writing this on the computer. Office processing sessions, you know? I love writing, I often feel pressured by myself to write "correctly." It usually comes so easily to me, especially when I was in english classes at school. I could sit down and write and write and not get stuck, not feel discouraged. But those moments come in seasons, sometimes I have to fight for words and struggle to piece sentences together. It's frustrating and, for me, slightly frightening. This was just what I wrote on writing that day: 

 

This is that moment. That moment where I sit and stare at a blank document and I have a mile-long to-do list running through my mine, yet all I want to do is write. I have no idea what to write about and as soon as I make an attempt I realize I sacrificed more than I expected to on this nine-month journey. I begin to realize the words do not flow as easily anymore; I am still a writer. I will always be a writer, but my vocabulary became slightly stunted and, although in my mind I know the detailed picture I want to paint, still, the words will not come. Where did they go? It seems as if they shrunk back into the deep corners of my mind and they are hesitant to step into the light again. Sentence structures and grammar rules have begun to fade away; it isn't quite so easy to write anymore. Then I panic, because I am a writer and I must never lose the capacity to express my thoughts on a page. If I did, part of me would die with it. All writers know the feeling of writing their beliefs and passions. The words flow so easily it seems as if they are not being originated in that moment, instead the story seems as if it had already been written somewhere by someone else. It does make me wonder, what if the stories that I think I write were actually already written. When the words flow seamlessly perhaps it is because they are not coming from me, but rather from Him. Perhaps I am just a tool, a vessel, a way to get the words on paper. Perhaps I was given the ability to write because I was also willing to listen. Then I breathe again, because He speaks through many forms, but to me He speaks through words. He speaks, I write. That is how it always has been; that is how it will be. Words will come and go, there will be moments when my writing does not impress a single person, but I have obtained a sense of peace with that. A sense of peace in knowing that when I need to write, the words will be given to me, and, in the meantime, it is entirely unnecessary to panic. There will be seasons of eloquent descriptions and seasons of simple vocabulary. He will work through all of them. 

 

I love telling stories. I love writing them. I love telling the good stories, the funny stories, the adventurous and exciting stories, but I have a passion for telling the hard stories and the real stories. The ones that people would probably rather ignore and forget. I love telling stories for the people who cannot speak up on their own. I love telling stories for the people who do not have a voice to tell them. And I love inspiring people to action, because when someone reads a story that impacts them, that hits them on a new and deeper chord, that makes their heart beat faster, when someone reads that story and then acts on it, beautiful things happen. 

 

I'm here because I read a lot of stories. Because I didn't think that it was ok to sit around and wait for someone else to do something about every issue that struck a chord with me. Because I didn't want to sit and wait for a "good time" to go. Jesus wanted me on this trip and He used a lot of people's stories to get me here. Then, once He got me here, He used these people's stories to keep me going. I believe He will continue to use stories to get me to wherever the next point is I'm heading. 

 

And so, it is my hope and prayer that Jesus will use the stories I write to inspire someone somewhere to take action. That maybe someone will read about an abused child in Africa and be called to adoption. That someone will read about spiritual warfare on Bangla and stand up as a prayer warrior. That someone will read about poverty in Los Pinos and hear Jesus calling them to reach out. That one of my stories will be the one that makes someone pound a fist on the table and say "no more." That these invitations to fight for justice and love and the Kingdom will find their way to someone's doorstep. That more people will rise up with the hundreds who already have. 

 

That maybe Jesus will use one of these stories to further His Kingdom. 

 

I firmly believe that passions and talents are God-given. You're a photographer? Good. Let Him use that. You're a writer? Good. Let Him use that. You're an artist? Good. Let Him use that. You're a businessman? Good. Let Him use that. Jesus literally can use anything, anyone. He loves to do that. Imagine this: a world where every single person recognized their passions and talents and then used them to further God's Kingdom. Can you imagine how amazing that would be? I've seen glimpses of that all over the world and, trust me, it's awe-inspiring. 

 

So friends, what story inspires you to action? What is Jesus whispering to your heart today? I've had so many people who've said, "I wish I could do what you're doing." Well, you can you know. 

 

And to my supporters, you already have. Jesus tells some people to move and He tells some people to give. Those of you who listened to Him when the whisper in your heart was to send a check or a note or a prayer, I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for your obedience and generosity in those areas. I hope you know that when I had the opportunity to carry a baby out of Los Pinos you were there too, that when I was able to stand and tell 500 Thai high-school students about Jesus you were there too, that when I danced in the rain on Bangla you were there too, that while I teach dance class in Cape Town you're here. And I will continue praying that Jesus blesses you for that. 

 

Yes, I had a processing session with Jesus in the office. And He continued to show me how He works in everything and in anyone. Through me. Through you. Let His Kingdom come.